like a chameleon – the chameleon syndrome.. is there a cure?

be yourself- not someone that others think you should be. easier said than done.

so i started this tapping thing– after seeing the movie i was convinced it could help .. i did it before but i had given up …. i didnt think it was working and i also somehow forgot about it…. i was reminded again by this amazing movie of people who did it and had amazing results… ive been dying aphyxiated by my taiji griefs and insecurities with being myself that you know what ? lets do it again. I took it as a sign that i should try since my mom found it by chance and i was there to watch. i feel better already , its day 3 now. it helps me ground. and let things out but its still a mess… i cant avoid that. its my feelings, i learned i have to let myself feel a mess , feel threatened by the humans around me i dont know , feel hurt to the core and feel the grief in my bones. its like vomiting, you gotta let it out cause its not making you feel good. I cry a lot when i tap the pressure points shown in the video , its the only way to go. life isnt a neat little tidy box where you can choose to not feel good. i used to do that a lot.  “no , not now, i got homework to do.” i push back the feelings. i know i was such a mess, i would need years to clear what i had, and well like in the movie , my body was like “hey…..” then… “hey listen to me…” then ” HEEEEYY LISTEN TO ME!!!” THEN… “HEY LISTEN TO ME OR ELSE!!!” Annnddd then i got really sick. and im right. i do need years to recover. this year in december will three years since i stated missing school… otober will the the actual marking, cause i started with the symptoms then. i honesly had no choice. i had to get sick to get the time i wanted to straighten things out.  and depending how i feel in august– i will know if i can go to school or not. sorry school. feelings first.

and here is the link to the tapping solution 😀


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