This dolphin Thing, It’s Quite Beautiful

 (c) Bahamas girl  (not my pic!)


                     (c) Bahamasgirl (not my pic!)

“The truth shall set you free.” -John 8:32b

This… being a dolphin… I never thought of it as anything beautiful. I thought of it as something weird or awkward or something that I was making up. I  thought it was just an influence of something outside me and not of my true nature. It seemed to surreal to be true, this story that I’m dolphin girl. I’d click and squeak spontaneously when angry or sad, choosing to express myself that way over a curse word or a more human sounding whine or scoff. People would laugh at me or not take me seriously sometimes when I talked about my feelings. I began to read the intentions of others before putting myself out there, and then I found it was a cold, dark world for a dolphin soul in a human body.

I kept things to myself, until by the end of middle school I stopped believing in the very light inside of me. I gave in to the voices of others, even those who were good-natured, consoling that there isn’t such a thing as one kind of soul, and that all are one, and though I understand what they mean I know that somehow my soul chooses to identify itself this way. Individuality is part of the whole. Even with such a strong intuition I shut myself down, and locked those habits, behaviors and feelings  away in the tiny,dusty attic of my subconscious.

I still fight with these voices to this day. Despite the effort to think more ‘rationally’, I  still feel the rush on my skin on that cold dark land, on that cove that I spent my last breath in… and I would miss it very much…  but i never knew what I was missing. not the cove, but the days when the sun would creep us against the clouds and whisper its sweet songs to me. I would miss the days that the seagulls would call over head giving the welcome of a new day. I would miss the rush of the tide as we ride it with glee, I would miss all those things. there is nothing greater that brought me more joy here, than the sea…..

doubt flutters in my mind again. Could this be really true? do I feel this way…this surreal?

“How could you think you would be making this up?” a heavenly voice from above, a fleeting timber of a voice, inaudiable but clear, speaks.  “how could we possibly lie to you?” you were not borne of the land but of the water. The soul speaks to us in a tongue that we cannot deny. Once this voice is so deep. it quivers in our spirit, crushing every doubt ever thought possible. It is you, that must decide whether to listen to this voice.  My guide Diana, chimes in. “When you do its waters run deep my dear, they run deep… deeper than you can imagine. those ripping tides, those rolling waters? How could you, possibly deny them? How, when your soul yearns for these elements, and you must be strong, to not to shudder the fear of denial but accept, that this is you, and that you are not making this up, and not let the voices of others to speak over your voice. Your true voice has power, more power than anyone can ever imagine deary. Just listen, and understand , that your voice no matter how dark or how deep this situation goes, we will always, be with you, healing every past doubt or fear that has ever come across you,  Then Mary one of my other close guides adds, “As we do this in spirit, our consciousness grows. deeper and deeper, until it is our greatest self that we can imagine emerges into the light, and touches you with magnificent grace. Don’t deny it my dear. Know that it is you who must decide, decide to trust…..”

I will Love myself,  despite the awkwardness that I feel when looking in the mirror. this awkward, skinny girl, this odd illusion of skin, flesh and bones…… is merely a cocoon, a beautiful cocoon for my  beautiful dolphin spirit. Yes, My beautiful dolphin spirit. It’s time for me to acknowledge myself beauty I am. The beauty that is everlasting, for the truth of you is unchangeable.  Time to feel these feelings as something that is beautiful  part of me and not as something shameful, something someone will think I am crazy or weird for; but Something unique, beautiful and irreplaceable.

see more of my art at www.dolphinchild.deviantart.com

see more of my art at www.dolphinchild.deviantart.com

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