What if…? 8-18-15

I had a dream last night that went something like this — I was invited to go on one of Sea shepard ‘s (a ocean conservation organization , for those of you that haven’t heard of them) giant ships, for the Maui dolphin conservation campaign. I was ready to go, all confident with my dolphin soul story, and Zach, (one of my closest activist friends) behind me.  Yet, as we board the ship, he steps aside.

“I thought you were in this campaign.” I said.

“No, you are.”

And just like that he just let everyone behind him walk to the ship.  What I got from his gaze was that He stepped aside because this is something I should do on my own terms. But fear took over me. I felt safe with someone standing beside me in my beliefs.  I backed away. And went running towards a school building (you know how dreams are) and tried to fit in any of the classes that were there, pretending to be part of the crowd, forgetting my story and what my heart is telling me.

I tried to fit into a ballet rehearsal, and though the teacher said nothing some of the students noticed. The teacher lectured about some spinning platform she would buy to help practice pirouetting and I insisted we all buy our own, secretly because I would have a chore to distract myself from what I really wanted to do. A girl in charge of the luggage for the sea Shepard ship  came in the class and said : ” we can’t wait anymore. Are you taking your luggage, or not?”

For a second I thought, What  a *****! Why cant she just leave me  Can’t you see I don’t want to go? But part of me was like I do wanna go!! and it was that part of me that replied Yes to her. yet I kept changing my mind as I walked out of the classroom. So confused, I didn’t know where to turn.

What if people look at me crazy? What if that leads to death? I heard of so many people jailed or killed fighting for this. Fear took over me from my past lives.  As far as I know I actually don’t plan on going for a ship for that specific campaign… But who knows!  But having this dream made me aware that even if I feel fear, because its always best to just feel your feelings no matter what, I think its time I face it and just let things happen the way they are supposed to, to not fear, and just let the hand of God guide me, cause no matter what I feel I’ll always be safe, with someone watching over me 🙂

Angels-And-Faries-2                         wpid-IMG_23898920285842.jpeg

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