A message for Angel and all captured and slaughtered dolphins

I remember how alone i felt at first finding out I was slaughtered in taiji…. I felt so much regret  …thinking it was all for nothing….. i died because of someones stupid mistake… but then i figured out it was actually for a greater wisdom,…. i know ill get over this like angel will, she is going though that darkness i went through and many go through after being in such a trauma… but when i saw the patterns i had in other lives and i saw it wasn’t just a meaningless happening but meaningful wisdom…. and i know now i learned my lesson enough i gained enough experiences that those things wont happen to me again in this life… im immune, immune to the poison that others give me, wheher is murder from judging who THEY THINK I AM or insults or shame or other things, i know that im now immune to all these happenings, God has my back now and i am so happy to finally, finally know and trust that, so i will live in trust and relief that i am safe , always safe….  now i understand what that quote meant by, your enemy is you greatest teacher…..  i hope one day Angel can know peace even admist a world of chaos… its hard but it will happen …. I love you Angel, remember you are still a beautiful ANGEL of the SEA  ❤  海の天使 ❤ Tenshi no Umi ❤

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Angel the white dolphin ❤

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One day we’ll all feel our inner freedom ❤

Puberty + DOLPHIN – Middle School Blues – (RAW,unedited, untouched…at least most of it)

You thought Puberty was bad?  How about puberty + DOLPHIN –  not that there aren’t worse things, but middle school for me… was pretty difficult.

Aside from having a dysfunctional childhood, and being surrounded by awkward teenagers  I was also going through finding out, or actually  just being consiously aware of, that i was a dolphin in a human body.

I never really thought about it too much before, just this whole being called human thing was awkward and made me cringe. not that it was bad, just… cause it wasn’t me. yet some how I could word all those feelings until the end of 6th grade, in the summer.

I found this dolphin children article on the internet , and it spoke to me, I was so shattered (in a good way)  and surprised everything heated up in me. i knew it was true. with this newfound awareness, i rode the rollercoaster of middle school.

Apart from pubery, which, i dont know how badly that took a toll on me because i didnt have any boyfriends nor wanted any — i just wanted the sea.

while everyone was out there craving relationships and saying ‘oh hes cute’ and ‘hes ugly oh eww no’ i would always try to find the beauty in everything and of course, still craving the sea.

I told some friends about this — Biig mistake– or not, depending on how you look at it. some were all silently listening and looking like they agree or support you and behind your back they said ” pst this girls craazzyy, dont talk to her, she thinks shes a dolphin.”

“You think you’re a dolphin.”

that got to me soooooo much.

amoung those that teased, was one of my former best friends. ( oh those former best friends… they leave you, but they take all your secrets with you )

” ugh look at you, ugh, talking or reading about dolphins again, ugh,  …”

“what?” i asked.

” its so annoying…”

my stomach churned and burned at the sight and sound of her saying that… not only was that coming from someone I had trusted, but how she said it as if it was digusting and something so horrid to be ashamed of. mind you i alrady was embarrased of showing my love for dolphins in public because people all throught elementary kept asking, “why do you like dolphins so much??” with their little weird scrunched up faces. I evetually unconsiously assumed there was something wrong with liking dolphins  so much and that I should hide it. plus, it was kinda annoying some one asking the same question again and again, without a particular awnser, and it was weird how i burned up and felt uncomfortable when I didnt know an awnser so… it made me nervous.

anny way, my former bff was  was angry at me for not attending her party. it was an honest mistake, but she kept a grudge. I know that she was just using that against me to get back at me, but still, it got to me, but i didnt let it show, for i didnt want her satisfaction.

but all that did teach me something not only did they teach me how to stand up for myself, but they taught me how to keep my opinion and belief even if theirs is different. I learned that their opinion isn’t necesarily the truth — so why should I be walking around with my head down feeling like it is?

they taught me a great deal, where ther it was the bullies or the skeptics, or the people that were just freaked out, or the people who stood by me all these years, they helped me see that there ARE people you can trust, and sometimes, you just gotta go through the ‘bad’ ones to find the good ones.

ahhh , that was a good vent 😀

 

 

 

Why Can’t I turn into a Dolphin? – complications of being a dolphin soul in a Human Body

For a while now – Hec, for as long as I can remember — Iv’e always wanted to turn into a dolphin somehow. Although not physically (yet! see my previous post on morphing) I always wondered why I couldn’t get around to astral shapeshifting.

It takes some skill I’ll tell you that,  Which my angels said I’ll easily tap into … When I get over my fear and shame.  My own wound, the past life trauma from Taiji, Is keeping me from travelling astrally as a dolphin ( funny how THE VERY WOUND is keeping me from the very thing I can use to heal, I HATE THAT!!) plus the overall fear of being protected in the astral or not (which I’m working on)

Ehh, But The Taiji wound is bigger. I can muster up the courage for OBEs. I want it THAT BADLY.

Please tell me I’m not the only person that craves this more than anything!!

I feel ashamed of calling myself a dolphin soul in a human body

  1. How the hunters treated me as worthless.

2.Because I still haven’t gone over Middle school bullying..They really teased me good             back then calling me weird and even downright crazy, some people ended up avoiding            me after that.

 

because if that I’m in denial, and afraid too, as the subconscious can’t tell the difference between fact and fiction. So imagining, even if its imagining turning into a dolphin around humans or in a human environment, is enough to set a  previously murdered dolphin into panic.

So…. I can’t blame myself… its not an easy job recovering from this Nasty Taiji wound. But luckily, I have my Guides and Angels with me around me now, to give me guidance and support.

I can’t say  in how long I’ll have this astral travel thing sorted out — I Just know that It will, because Hec, I damn deserve it.

 

Lol my tone of writing is different..

I’m just freaking frustrated.

OCEAN PLEASE TAKE ME NOW!!!!

dolphinspiritcloud

 

 

 

The Spirit of Iruka Manga – An Exerpt

“it is true, you can say my mind is human… you’d ask for a scan, and youll say im fine, 100% human. yet .. its not all of it, and at times i feel its not any of it… the pull of the sea is so great that nothing from the human world can suffice my urge.

 

‘No, Im not good enough.’ i thought. ‘I can’t think like the rest, think that Im human, think like a human, so I’m not good enough, I’m not perfect.’  humans say they are better and somehow I started to think that.

 

‘I must try harder, harder to think like the rest, hide my feelings, hide them, so maybe they’ll go away, I’ll make myself good enough….’

 

and in that instant, I feel ashamed, Ashamed of the yearning, of the feeling, of ocean, of home…Not just that, but all the feelings emotions and thoughts that are more dolphin, not human, scare me and shatter me into a million bits of shame. it is this, this feeling , that has haunted me since i was a little girl. flushed in shame whenever a dolphin would appear anywhere, picture, book, movie. it was all like that,

 

until now.”

 

-Takara, Spirit of Iruka (Manga) http://www.facebook.com/irukasoul

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(pic isnt mine but still reminds me of my anime xp)